(651): You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
(Submitted by sugar-crash31, thank you!)
life update.
woo hoo new place to express myself. um, first things first. my baby girl is back. and if you know me you know i’m talking about kira. i’ve known her since high school and she’s needed me to look after her and take care of her evERY DAY since the day that we met. i don’t mean that she asks for help, shes just so dgaf that she gets herself in the shittiest possible situations. like the one i found out about today. she’s barely 21 and she’s a stripper. i mean, yeah this is kira. the idea is fucking hot, because - shes kira. but she’s also a baby and it makes me sick and it makes me jealous but most of all it makes me mAD that she can’t fucking take care of herself for a few fucking months. i’m trying to figure out some kind of plan, some kind of something to get her out of this situation. she can stay at my place. there’s an extra bedroom, there’s my bed, theres a couch. i can even try to slide her into a merch position, even if it doesnt pay as well as… dancing. i just want her safe. i want her happy and safe and okay.
fee and me is still a weird as fuck little thing. we’re acting like we never dated even though everyone remembers, we’re still fucking around, and it’s fine. its fun and its not as stressful as i thought a breakup would be. and after all of my fucking around i cant really blame her for breaking shit off with me. i mean, i would have done the same.
um, i guess thats it. oh, yeah. still “crushing” as fee says, on pav. still never gonna tell him.
denial and deflection
cool, no yeah i’m fine. i’m just really tired. yeah, we’re getting interviewed tomorrow! i know i’m so stoked. what? why would i care if pav is flirting with someone? we’re not even that good of friends, we just hang out sometimes. and besides, he’s like asexual. so, it’s not like anyone else even has a chance. i mean, anyone, in general. not that i want a chance, because i don’t. jesus. my words are all fucked up. it’s cool that he’s finally getting out there, okay? it’s cute that he’s flirting and hanging out and like, finding his identity - relationship wise. a-and you know what? who the fuck cares if i have a thing for pav. he’s like, the perfect man. he’s funny and he knows how to have fun and he’s smart as hell, so really if i liked anyone he’d be the best canidate. not that i do though. i mean, fuck.
ways to tell you i love you - un
i just want you to know that i love you. like, yeah, like the way i’ve been saying it forever - but also in that, i woke up one morning and realised that i’m in love with you. which is fucking weird, yeah i know. you’re supposed to know how you feel better than anyone else, but i’m out of touch with me, i guess. i just, i think about you and i want to always be around you and i want to hold your hand sometimes and kiss the corner of your mouth until you duck away with that shy smile and share really small spaces with you. but more than that, i want you to want that. i mean, i want you to want me. a-and yeah, you’re asexual. i’m not going to lie, i don’t understand it, and it seems weird, and i get that that might mean that you’re never going to even glance at me and feel any of the things that i feel for you. and i get that this is really moot, and that i should shut up. and i will. i just wanted you to know, you know?
